The title of this post is a little strange without the right context, so I'll go ahead and elaborate. This post is about babies. Specifically, what I've been able to glean about raising infants in South Korea and how it differs from the American culture.
The first 100 days of a child's life here are almost more important that the first year. Whereas a year birthday party is cause for celebration back home, here, there is significant social weight on the 100th day. A quick search of the hashtag "100days" in Korean on Instagram and you'll find baby pictures galore. But not just any pictures of cute chubby cheeked infants, but posed photos surrounded by food, flowers, and other props. There is an entire industry here around the 100-day photo, and you can rent props specifically for taking pictures in this way. Usually, the baby is positioned sitting in a highchair in the middle, with a plate of food in front, and props depending on the parent's chosen theme surrounding them. There is almost always some notation of the number 100, or a sign stating "100th day." Often this is printed on a balloon or cute calendar prop. Family brings food and sometimes a small party is held.
Recording the baby's life is very important here, as one might expect from the world's leading culture in smartphones and selfies. A friend of mine who has recently given birth, for example, pre-paid for a package deal which allows them access to a photo studio in the nearest big city where they can pose the baby for photos at the 50 day, 100 day, and 1 year mark. The package began before birth actually, with a pregnancy photo shoot. Interestingly these pictures are not generally color themed the way one might imagine a Western equivalent, with pink for girls and blue for boys. Generally the color palate is pale, with whites, tan, and pastel colors that are meant to convey innocence.
Very young infants, it seems, also rarely leave the house before the 100th day of their life, something I found very surprising. I accompanied my friend on her baby's first outing (aside from routine doctors visits) on the infant's 53rd day. When I asked about this, perfectly reasonable explanations of immunity concerns and new-mom fears were cited, though I can't imagine being the stay-at home parent during this time. In texting conversations or visits to see the baby, my friend would ask how the weather was. This sort of isolation is exacerbated by the fact that in Korea it is generally the mother who stays home, and fathers are not guaranteed any sort of leave, though allowances seem to generally be made in the week surrounding the birth. This makes for a potentially very lonely time for new mothers, and I suppose it is comforting in this case that in-laws typically live very near the new family.
While the above paragraph sounds critical of my experience with family life following birth in Korea, it really doesn't differ much from what I expect in the States, except for a perhaps the prolonged period before the mother or child leave the house. Talking with other friends who have given birth here, I cannot comment on the role of the father in family life, because the stories have varied so much. It is clear, however that the mother is the primary and often sole provider for the child's physical and emotional needs. The father, quite consistently is expected to be the bread winner. Unfortunately for him, as new baby supplies here seem extremely costly for a country where everything else I have purchased has been just a bit cheaper than in the US. In an attempt to purchase my new nephew baby clothes recently, I was completely taken aback by the cost of one outfit, and ultimately couldn't afford anything.
Perhaps my favorite baby supply that I've seen for sale are children's chopsticks. It makes it quite clear how children are chopstick-trained, as many sets have hoops attached to the chopstick at strange angles for the child to put their fingers through in order to force them to hold the utensils in a way that will work for grasping food. I'm sure that not everyone uses this style of teaching, but I loved the idea of chopstick training with these tools. As I've witnessed, most toddler use of chopsticks involves stabbing the food with one, rather than plucking it between two. It's a ridiculously cute sight.
I'm sure I'll have more comments on this as I continue to visit my friend, though I doubt it will ever merit an entire post again. So feel free to comment any questions you have and I'll check with my girlfriends here for a culturally consistent answer. I know child-rearing is one of those topics that people have strong feelings about, and can be significantly different country to country. Also, I apologize for the wall of text. To protect my friend and her baby's privacy I won't be posting pictures without her permission.
Cheers!
-K
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